About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
