Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
