I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
