Just fell off a train. Bad.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
stop calling my apartment porn island.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
