i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
