is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize