He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
