I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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