i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
well you can't waste a boner
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize