I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
