Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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