The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
