i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
