I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
