Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
