omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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