maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
