Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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