he shaved USA in his pubs
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
