margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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