Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
