'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
