Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize