I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
