Duck Duck Cougar?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
