The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
