my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I want to fling myself into the sun
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
