Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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