haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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