Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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