Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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