Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize