I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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