ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize