sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
