I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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