dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
