And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
