discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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