I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I could fuck to npr.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
