tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
