I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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