so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he wants to bone in the snuggie
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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