She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
