If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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