fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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