Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
