I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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