can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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