Me too!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just high enough for therapy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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