So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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