I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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