Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
