I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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