You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
zippers are such a cool invention
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
