Pappa wants mamma naked
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize