maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
