if only i could text you this smell
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
