and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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