were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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