I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
now i know why i became what i already was.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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