It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize