hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
