he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize