If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
