Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
